I have always been about the neck-up beauty routine. But I went many, many years without oiling up my ass. And now that I am doing it daily, I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be if I had been oiling my ass this whole damn time. I wasn't ready yet, and that's okay.
I remember watching Jersey Shore in 2009 and watching Snooki’s “pre-smash” routine, which included lotioning up her ass. I was intrigued, but intimidated.
Then, when comedian Rhea Butcher was a guest on Natch Beaut, we discussed post-shower routines. They confessed that they basically don’t have one (meaning, no lotion.) They said that they come from a long lineage of dry, itchy people. I related to this whole-heartedly. I realized in that conversation that I have never been a big lotion-user, despite always having dry skin and itchy legs/ass. So why didn’t I lotion up?
After soul-searching, I came to two conclusions. One, I found the lotioning up process tedious and, oftentimes, my post-shower routine is rushed, and two- I didn’t think I deserved it. Which, if we’re being honest, conclusion one is just an excuse- I wasn’t making the time to oil up my ass cause I didn’t think I deserved the time to oil up my ass.
As a 34 year-old woman going through a divorce, I signed up for therapy for the first time in my life. That is when I realized that not only was I not happy, but I didn’t think I deserved to be. I didn’t think I deserved to oil up my ass.
But that has all changed now. Like a Phoenix from the ashes, the dry, itchy, and unhappy Jackie has been rejuvenated into New Jackie. New Jackie is always hydrated and New Jackie always has an oiled-up ass.
So here I am, New Jackie. New Jackie oils up her ass every day and lives her best life. Oiling my ass (and the rest of my body, but truly the most joy comes from oiling up my ass) has become such an empowering ritual. It makes me feel sexy, powerful, and confident. Even if it’s covered up with jeans, I love knowing that underneath that denim, I have a plump, hydrated, and beloved ass.
Oiling up your ass is the ultimate ritual of self-love. I love my ass. I am proud of my ass. My ass deserves oil. And I am happy I have realized this.
So now that I’ve explained to you the joy I am getting from oiling up my ass, here are the top products I am using to oil up my ass.
On Natch Beaut, my mission is to showcase independent, women-owned brands, because like Erin Gibson said so perfectly on Natch Beaut, we want other women to get rich off of women.
So all these products are from woman-owned brands. Also, I know these aren’t the most affordable products, but like I said, I’m pushing 35, going through a divorce, and am truly living by the creed “Treat Yo Self” these days. Do you and make purchases that work for you, and love yourself!